I was able to set my intention before starting anything today.
I had time to post on some of the communities here.
I wrote my sister a card and mail it.
Last night he told me it felt like when we were living together a few months ago :) I'm making progress.
I drove the kids to school.
I'm keeping my emotions in check and starting to feel a bit brighter about being here.

</lj-embed>

</lj-embed>
If You Want To Sing Out - Cat Stevens

Well, if you want to sing out, sing out
And if you want to be free, be free
cause theres a million things to be
You know that there are

And if you want to live high, live high
And if you want to live low, live low
cause theres a million ways to go
You know that there are

Chorus:
You can do what you want
The opportunitys on
And if you can find a new way
You can do it today
You can make it all true
And you can make it undo
You see ah ah ah
Its easy ah ah ah
You only need to know

Well if you want to say yes, say yes
And if you want to say no, say no
cause theres a million ways to go
You know that there are

And if you want to be me, be me
And if you want to be you, be you
cause theres a million things to do
You know that there are

Chorus:
Well, if you want to sing out, sing out
And if you want to be free, be free
cause theres a million things to be
You know that there are
You know that there are
You know that there are
You know that there are
You know that there are


</lj-embed>

Hey, Hey
Did you ever think
There might be another way
To just feel better,
Just feel better about today

Oh no-
If you never want to have
To turn and go away
You might feel better,
Might feel better if you stay

Pre-chorus
Yeah yeah
I bet you haven't heard
A word I've said
Yeah yeah
If you've had enough
Of all your tryin'
Just give up
The state of mind you're in…

Chorus
If you want to be somebody else,
If you're tired of fighting battles with yourself
If you want to be somebody else
Change your mind...

Hey hey-
Have you ever danced in the rain
Or thanked the sun
Just for shining- just for shining
Or the sea?
Oh no- take it all in
The world's a show
And yeah, you look much better,
Look much better when you glow

Pre-chorus/chorus

Hey hey-
what ya say
We both go and seize the day
'cause what's your hurry
what's your hurry anyway

Since tomorrow is December 1st and it's the new, official season for the 100 day challenge, I thought I would end my season 1 early and begin my season 2 with everyone else. It's just what I needed anyway.

Today is day 74. For the first 30 days I did well but then I lost my way. I wasn't taking the time to do the processes that would be beneficial to me. Then I got caught up with all the negative things I was attracting and started to dwell on them until I became depressed. I was up and down and all around and not deliberately creating.

I was reading the questions in the back of Think and Grow Rich and it was a wake up call. It showed me that my dominant thoughts were attracting all the wrong things. I guess I already knew that but I was wallowing in self pity to see anything and needed a slap to get out of it. Those questions were exactly the slap I needed.

Today I was deliberately creating again and had an emotionally great day, I went to work without having a fit and NO anxiety attack. Which is HUGE! Only Friday gone I was panicking walking to work. When I got to work, I was such an emotional mess that the boss sent me home right away because he thought I was worrying over a sickness in the family that happened earlier in the week. I let him believe that because how could I tell him what was really going on with me?

Since I had the 3 days off from work, I told myself that I'm going to figure this out and try to get myself back to a normal state of mind. That is just what I did. I know that when you think one thought, other like thoughts will come to you. That is how I became so depressed. I just dwell on the negative thoughts until I was having anxiety attack at work. I took the weekend and did the opposite, I thought one positive thought and just focus on that until it grew and I started to feel better. I did a lot work on how I feel. Last night, I picture the negativity being washed out of the office with water and then love covering every inch of it, and who ever enters will be filled with love, respect and kindness. This morning, I visualized the path I take to work being covered with love. Can you believe it, I went to work this morning without any nagging feeling in my stomach? I was happy going to work. When I got there, I was calm and happy. I kept my positive thoughts up and I had a wonderful day at work. NO ANXIETY! Plus, I got along just great with L.


Now that I am starting to get back on track, I thought I would start over and forget those bad days. This is my goodbye to Season 1 of the 100 Day Challenge and tomorrow will start my Day 1 of Season 2. I hope this Season turns out better than the last. I'm looking forward to being happy again.

My sister is the sweetest. She is 7 years old. When she speaks to you, you would think a very wise, old women is giving you advise. She laughs at everything. My sister gives me kisses and hugs before she leaves for school, even when I'm asleep. She enjoys spending time with me and playing all kinds of games. She loves when I sing lullabies to her when it's her bedtime and she likes it when I hug her to sleep. My sister would try to scare me and make me scream every chance she gets. Sometimes I would have to pretend to be scared just to see how excited she would be. I look forward to seeing her when I leave work. She would share with anyone and always offer to help. She is the most kindest and sweetest person I have ever known. She is very, very, very beautiful inside and out. I love my sister very much.

(Pink is her favorite color)

Last night, I saw Bon Jovi on Helen. For the past couple of days I wanted to hear the song "It's My Life" by Bon Jovi, and last night, Helen was on and they were playing that same song. :) That made me feel good. I manifested it. I don't usually watch Helen but just happened to put it on.

The local newspaper get delivered on Saturday but I didn't go out then. When I was at work Monday, I mention to someone that I'm going to go pick up the newspaper and he told me that it would be finished by now. When I left work, I thought "wouldn't it be nice if I there is still one paper and I get it". When I get there, there was only one paper left and I got it :)

I'm going to do a rampage of appreciation every day to get my vibe back where it suppose to be.
This is what I needed.
I love my clean room. I enjoy the clean sheets that I put on last night. I love that it was dusted and vacuum last night. I love that I got most of the boxes from my room unpacked last night. I love waking up and seeing a nice and tidy room. I love my clean robe. I just enjoy being in the room!

I can't hide from money, it can always find me.
Money is such a sneak and very unique.
Money sneaks into my bank, but let me be frank.
I  have to watch it very close because it grows.
I might end up with one million, a billion, a trillion, who knows.
How incredibly funny is money, it always find me so easily.
When I put my hand in my pocket, I find a bundle of it.
Here is a real baffler, I found a hundred dollar in my sock drawer.
My purse might look small, but money is in there having a ball.
Five, tens and twenties, will come to me with such ease.
The fifty and the hundred bills, will give me such a thrill.
Out they go and in they come,
No matter how I spend them, I will get double in return.
I have to make plenty of bank deposits because all can't fit in my wallet.
Money is attracted to me like bees to honey.
I'm not a poet, just a money magnet.
When I thought that was all, I end up with a windfall.

                                         

I was inspired by winterlillies post on live_the_secret.
It might not rhyme so well, but I had so much fun writing it.

What to do when you are doing everything you need to do but things are just getting worse? What inspires you? What makes you keep the faith? I'm just having such a hard time right now. I know I need to snap out of it but I can't find the will. I feel like begging and pleading and just fighting with God/the universe. This is just one of those really bad days. It's been a really bad couple of days. I don't know how to snap out of it. Where to look for inspiration? How to still believe? I need help.
PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!